Memi'Maanar nar Xaeraka (Backup)

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Memi'Maanar nar Xaeraka (Backup)

Post  Brendin on Fri Apr 08, 2016 9:04 am


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General Information


Full Name: Memi'Maanar nar Xaeraka-

Nickname(s): "Mini" - "Nara" - "Little Bird"

Age: 20 -

Homeworld/Colony: Quarian Cruiser Xaeraka -

Morale: Low - Medium

Military Role: Ship Engineer -

Military Rank: Private First Class -

Status: Alive -

Relationship Status: In a relationship -





Hair Style: silky, shoulder length hair.-
Hair Colour: Black-
Eye Colour: White -
Facial Features: N/A -
Body Features: 5'3" - -
Clothing: Standard Quarian Enviro-suit - Several strands of fabric line her suit - Old red shemagh - Waist lined with pouches  -
Build: Mesomorph -


Occupations & Hobbies


She loves to play cards, poker, Cards Against Humanity, or anything that can have gambling in it. The one thing you will always see, is her reading, book in face. She loves to learn, and why not learns from the best? A book. Memi'Maanar has also picked up the habit of going around and fixing random stuff, if it is broken, she will attempt to fix it. This also including building stuff from scrap, like little drones, useful tools, and just random little gadgets. Almost like a bunch of little toys.


Character Information


Character Theme

Secondary Theme:

Character Backstory

Born within the confines of a fleet ship known as "Xaeraka," Memi'Maanar spent the first few years as all quarians do, spending her time in incubation. Her father was a engineer of sorts, had been for all his life, he is the one whom seemed to teach her most of what she knew before her pilgrimage. Her mother was a women whom spent most of her life within the Quarian navy. Both her parents wanted her to learn something that could help her later on, wether it was following in her mothers footsteps, or her fathers. Eventually her father taught her how to maintain and repair various equipment around the cruiser class ship, "Xaeraka." She learned various tricks and techniques from her father, which undoubtedly helped her later on in the future. With these new skills that she had gained from father, shortly after her twenty first birthday, she set out on her pilgrimage. Departing just a few days after her birthday, everyone within Xaeraka would see her off, offering her parting gifts, ranging from tools to help her survive outside the fleet to simple advice. Being told about various groups of mercenaries, and other forms of people / groups that are supposedly dangerous.

Memi'Maanar Nar Xaeraka Had no idea where, or what she was going to do when she finally set out on her pilgrimage, she managed to visit several worlds and various stations across the universe. One of her first stops were in the pits of Omega, wandering around the horrid place, she found nothing of use, or nothing that she thought would be of use at first. Omega was the first place she had ever put her fingers on a firearm, one drop'd by a merc that was either attempting to kill her or rob her for a simple mistake she had made. Shortly after surviving the encounter with the mercenary, she parted from the crazy world of Omega, swearing to never go back to such a place. While endlessly floating from place to place she finally arrived at the citadel, which is where she choose to settle in for a while, look around and she what she could find. When she first arrived within the large construct she was in awe by the amazing structure, looking around it, learning every little detail she possible could. Eventually finding work with a local ship manufacturing type store by the name of, "Flyby." She was mostly stuck on repair duty for the customers, but made a decent enough wage there, learning plenty more from the owner of the shop. After several month of working within the shop she decided to once again pick up her bags and leave the citadel, of coarse she did not learn without her money she saved, information, and of coarse a few new "toys" from her visit there. Eventually making her way even further into the unknown, or at least, the unknown for herself.


+ Knowledgeable
+ Is willing to learn to benefit the entirety of the team, not just herself
+ Calm, will almost never get angry


- Heavy Emotions. She tends to hide her emotions, allowing them to float around in her head.
- Clumsy at times.
- Shy.




Vator'Maanar - Father - Deceased
Raesa'Maanar - Mother - Alive


Personal Relationships


Lover | Close Friend | Friend | Neutral | Dislike | Hate |


Martin O'Donnell:
Martin, huh... Well Martin is a good friend, or I'd like to think of him as one. He's helped me numerous times and spoke to me quite a bit. Actually probably just because I spend most of my time sitting around in the med-bay reading my books or recovering... Heh, the look on his face when I slapped his ass was priceless, can not re-live a moment like that.
So, turns out Martin has quite the crush on me, according to Naomi and well the actions Martin has been doing suggest it... I like the guy and all, he seems like a okay person. He wants to get to know me and all, and I kind of want to get to know him more. I trust him to help me out when I need help. So, I guess what I am saying is that I also like him, in a weird sort of way... I actually enjoy talking with him and all that. I like it when we sit down and watch movies together, or even when we just sit around and chat. I almost want to ask him out, but I don't at the same time... Maybe if I got to know him more, about his past I mean... Perhaps I'll ask him. UPDATE -
So, it turns out what Naomi said was true, or what she thought. Well I guess not only her, but me as well. Its true that Martin likes me, or maybe even something more then like... I mean, hes a great guy and all. Funny, supportive, ya' know.. all the good little things. Actually he came out and told me how he feels... Despite how depressed I was at the time, it made me quite happy... Ever since then we been a bit more the friends... Actually, we are dating now and I'm glad about it. Thanks for the chance your giving me Martin. I'm glad to be with you.

Close Friends:

Camille Durand:
Cam seems like a great person. Funny, supportive, and so on. I love chatting with her at times, heh... I might have to chat with her a bit more now, seeing as Luma is gone now. But either way, I seriously need to learn more about this one. I want to, I need to. Perhaps I'll sit down beside her in the med-bay and have a long conversation... Shes not doing so well right now mentally, dealing with Luma's discharge seems to be putting a toll on her. I hope she gets better so, I truly do.

I honestly have not spoken to Luma all to much... I've heard some things about her here and there... nothing really bad though. She seems like she is quite knowledgeable and also seems to be quite experienced in combat. I really hope she does not get angry at me because of the whole Alex thing... Because I was told they kissed each other, and well... I'm guessing they had a possible thing... I don't know. I just know if there was something there that I am sorry.
Luma seems like a general good person, I am starting to like her... Maybe more then I would like to... Its weird to be honest, having feelings for so many diffrent people, what is it now, two, three? Who knows... Anyways, I feel quiet bad for her right now... Shes almost like me, depressed. Though she tends to show it more then me, and well... It worries me. I even tried to spy on her and Dio when I heard they were in the brig. Sadly she hacked my drone and gave it to the commander. Though on another note she deleted some files on there that could very well get me in a lot of trouble. So thanks Luma... Thanks for helping me out, now I hope I can help you out as well.
I'm so sorry Luma... I could not stop them from discharging you... I feel extremely bad about you being gone. Heh, I'm actually more pissed that command wishes to keep someone like shields on board rather then you. At least you were trying to get better, unlike a couple of unnamed people. Seriously though, I kept my promise. My apartment is also your now... Enjoy it Luma, its the least I could of done for you... Just don't... Ruin my books.

Brian Doughty:
I've talked to Brian a few times, not all to much, but a bit. He's pretty funny also quite caring. Heh, today we sat down, well I laid there because I was injured, or am injured... Anyways, we talked for quite a while after Martin left. I liked our talk and hope to be able to chat with him more in the future. I'll even invite him to a game of Cards when he wants. That video of him dancing was pretty funny, though not as funny as Martins.
Heh, Brian. Great friend. Quite friendly, probably would never hurt a fly. I enjoy talking to him quite a bit now, talking about our past life, about our future. And just the crew in general. I gave him a nick name, call him Beanie every once and a while, though I will not spoil the secret behind his nick name... He would probably hate me if I did that.
Brian is becoming more like a brother then anything else. He's always there when I need someone to talk to, or even when I don't. I somehow can get him to tell his deepest secrets as well, almost like we were meant to be friends. I'm sure I'd breakdown if something happened to Brian... I'm sure I would. Either way, thank you Brian.

Alexander Thompson - **Deceased**:
Alex seems to worry to much, though its good to know that he is looking out for me, for everyone. He kept messaging me during that nightmare of a mission, he kept asking if I was okay, wishing me luck, stuff like that. I'm glad we have people like him aboard, making sure people are okay or even risking their own ass to go out and help a person. Inside the ship I've never talked to him to much, but he seems like a fairly fun guy to speak to, making jokes and all. I enjoy the small talk we have at times. Thanks Alex.
  Heh, so it turns out that Alex is actually a pretty great person. We are always sitting around with each other, chatting about common things. Stuff we like, stuff we do, and just stuff about our personal life. Learning more and more about each other with ever little chat. Heh, over a while there I actually started to develop feelings for the man. Turns out after a night of fun at the clubs and parties on the citadel, that he actually has the same feelings for me... Well, Alex look where we are now. Glad to be with you.
Broke up, obviously... things were just going to quick... Yea...
Still nothing to really update here... He kind of stopped hanging out with me... He manged to get in trouble today as well, apparently slept with someone a few times and did it on someones else bed... Nasty, not really sure what to think anymore... Is he still a good friend of mine? Or.. Was Naomi right, was he just there to use me as a tool... I don't know, and I almost don't want to find out.
I'm sorry Alex... I did not mean to let our friendship go down the drain... After our break up we just kind of stoped talking, stoped hanging out... Its, well.. I really hope I did not make you hate me, I really hope... I wish I could talk to you still.. I had so much I wanted to talk about, so much to say... Now we can't even look at each other... Hmm, all I have is this stupid letter from you... That all... But, I'll keep it... I'll make sure I wont forget you... I'm sorry Alex and I also thank you... Thank you for being such a great friend... Rest in peace Alex...

Naomi Merigold:
Well, Naomi is fairly interesting. She seems much like a person I used to know back on a ship called "Coldino." Nice, worried, and looking out for the greater good.Thinking of the many and not the few, the few being herself. We had a OP the other day, had to actually go and retrieve a artifact, reaper stuff again, yay. Anyhow, long story short, she managed to work up the courage to watch our rear end by guarding a massive blast door alone. She called for help several times, and well after no one going I decided to go and help as well, even though I was already injured. Shortly after it grew from the two of us to the seven or so of us defending the door. well, point is, she quite courageous. I think I'll become great friends with her.
So, me and Naomi seem to have bonded through a really really weird means. Our relationships with a couple of men... We had the same type of things happen, and well the guys also knew each other. So, we just eventually started to chat, and give each other advice and all that. Now we just talk casually and enjoy each others company. I feel like we became great friends, I'm glad to of met her, someone who understands me, and who is there when I need someone to talk to. Thanks Naomi.
I have not really spoke to Naomi as of recently... I wonder how she is holding up. I hope she is doing fine... I really would hate to see her down. I also need to have a good chat with her later today, perhaps I'll invite her for a drink... Yea, I'll do that.


Luke Teth:
I've talked with Teth once or twice, never really got much out of him though. What I really know is that he must be something special if someone like Liddle choose him. I remember giving him a hug at the party he through the other night, congratulated him and all that. Wonder if I can get more info about him out of her.
After a while I think I started to like Luke, in a friend type of way. He seems like a great person now, someone who I could get along with and talk to. i'm glad to of met Luke. I really do enjoy the little Cards Against Humanity games we play, he makes it quite fun. I'm happy for Alicia, shes got a keeper, that is for sure. I know he can crack a stupid joke now and then, but don't we all? I can't wait for their wedding, it seems like it is going to be so much fun. Only part I'm not looking forward to is dancing with a groomsman... That is going to be awkward. Glad you and Alicia are happy Luke.

Alicia Liddel:
Miss Liddel - What a little bundle of joy. Though she seems quite stressed from time to time. I enjoy speaking to her, she seems to know what she is talking about. Heh, maybe I should ask her to teach me a thing or two in the medical field. She is a doctor after all, and she did say she would. Yea, I think that will be the plan, I'll ask her some time. She also invited me to be a brides maid, that was such a surprise. I gladly accepted, its a honor to attend something like that as a brides maid. Thanks Alicia. One thing everyone should do with her is play cards against humanity, she is hilarious when she plays that game, and I love it. Heh, everyone is quite funny when they play that game. Even if I don't under stand half of it.

Zar'Gaalun vas Nobra:
I've never really talked to Zar all to much, he almost seems a bit quite and shy around some people, not to entirely sure. I'm sure if I got to know him he would speak more. Only really played Truth or dare with him, I still don't get the point of that game. Anyhow, I guess I should try to speak to him sometime.
Still have not talked to much to Zar, though now I would really like to... I got to say thanks to him, he did help save my life after all. Even though he did not have to, he still did. Managed to pull a bullet that was lodged into my side, out. Though he needs to stop being so damn shy... It makes it hard to talk to him...

Nicholas Hart - **Deceased**:
So sorry Hart... I'm so soo sorry... I wish I could of done more... Just.. I'll keep the book you gave me safe, okay? I'll make sure nothing happens to it.. Thank you Hart.

Kreg ' Tex' Luther:
I have not spoke to Luther very much as of yet. I'm not to sure about him as of yet. Though he seems like a nice person, but it also seems like he works to hard... Probably a good thing hes here, or maybe not... This R&R is pretty messed, kind of feel bad to the higher ups. Heh, I told him he should try to talk to Naomi a bit more after we talked for once. I wonder if he actually likes Naomi or something. Well, I'll see if you do.
You seemed to be the only person backing up Luma today, well... To the best of your ability anyways... Thank you. I think I can actually call you a friend after today, after you tried to help Luma and after you spoke to me. Thank you.


Riak Arglack:
First time I ever met this krogan was back on Earth, London. Was on the team to disable the AA fire with him and a few others. Eventually we ended up in a parking garage and thats where it happened... One of those things, Banshees I think they are called, came out of no where, warped towards Arglack and ripped his arm clean off. Heh, his blood flew every where, including all over my suit, seeing as I was standing next to him. Poor guy, I'm glad he made a full recovery. After that I only talked to him a couple of times, though he seems nice. Talked about our recent mission, and actually seen him shed a tear. Never though I'd see the day, watching a krogan let out a tear. I felt the need to say sorry to him, for not being able to help him when he lost his arm... Just kind of froze up at the time. Well either way, I hope I can get to know him a bit better, seems like a good person to be friends with.

William Karl Brayton:
I do not have much to say about William as of yet, he seems like a okay person besides the fact he continues to make stupid jokes... He really does seem like a pervert, perhaps I should watch my behind around him... would not want to have my ass randomly slapped or grabbed. Well, maybe that is just a bad first impression, I'll see if he is alright...
Can't really call you a pervert anymore... Ya' stopped with the dumb jokes. So, sorry for calling you a pervert all the time, ya' seem like a decent person Brayton. He tries to work hard on the ship now, trying to do the best he can. Or so it seems. I'm starting to respect him a bit more then I used to. Perhaps after we talk a little more on a personal level ,not a professional level, we can actually call each other friends.

Artacus Kalmavius:
I do not know to much about this one here, I've talked to him a few times but never really learned much about him... I think he was former, or is currently, C-Sec. He's tried to help me out a few times here and there, pretty much the same with everyone. Perhaps I could get to know him if we sat down with a few others and started up a game of "Cards Against Humanity." Love that game.

Pip Lebeau:
Pip seems like a okay person to get to know, from what I heard so far anyways. Apperantly he loves to play Truth or Dare and strippers... Also loves to mess with the medical staff, like when he came in and asked Martin if he could slap his ass... I ended up slapping Martins ass before him, just to see what Martin would do. Anyways, he came by and still did it. Was quite funny to see. Sad thing about him as of recently though is that he got pretty messed up on the last OP. I'm glad he made a recovery. He seems loyal and trustful to those he calls friends, I wonder if this is true. Perhaps I'll ask him in a game of truth or dare.


I've played cards with him once, he is fairly funny and seems like he is harmless. None the less his multiple personalities scare me a little.. I don't trust him at all, I don't really trust any Vorcha. I feel like he might just up and one day back stab us all, make some of the ships key systems shut down and end up killing some of us, or even all of us. Though I got to be nice towards him, or at least respect him a bit more then what I was, captains orders.

Gunter Shultz:
Not to much to say on Shultz as of yet... Besides the fact he kissed Arglack in a game of truth or dare, dressed up as the guy hitler from some world war back on earth and yea.. Placed his nipples against my window. I feel the need to replace that window now... Very odd man... I seriously hope one of those cars did not crash because he showed off his nipples.
Sorry, but your in the same boat as the Vorcha now. Though even worse then Handsoap. I am seriously starting to hate Shultz... Fucking dick. You seriously hated Luma, and I'm honestly pissed at that. Filling peoples minds with false information about Luma... Speaking out of hate and all. Well, all I can say is screw you. Seriously, Screw you ya' asshole.


Saige Shields:
Dumb cunt... Also another reason Luma is discharged... Heh, don't worry women, your time is coming soon enough... Fucking insulting people to the point you make it personal. Good job, now you managed to make several people hate you. I don't care if your dating my best friend or not... Your still a dumb bitch who I hope rots. I'm going to find a way to get you discharged... No matter what or how long it takes. I'll find a way. My parting words for you? Fuck you.


Personal Diary


** You would see a old dirty brown leather book, seemingly having a leather strap holding it shut.Obviously some sort of diary to someone. Inside the first page would be the name, "Memi'Maanar."**

Entry #1:
Heh, after the events of today, I thought it would be a good idea to keep a record book or well, more like a journal... Ya' know, being on the front line, being shot at, injured, all that fun stuff... It gets you thinking, "What is there if I die? What would I leave behind?" So, yea... This is essentially my own little book of death, it will go out to who ever after I die. Maybe a lover, or.. erm, something? If I ever get one. Anyhow, so I'll start off with the events of today, starting in the hangar. So, we were apparently going to continue our mission from yesterday, the mission that was messing with our mind, making us see stuff... (Oh my, just remembering those visions make me shiver... First starting with me not being able to find the door of the small room, then being on my home planet that soon switched to a barren waste land where a reaper drop down killing the task force... Heh, reaper ships destroying the entire fleet on my home world and then seeing my own comrades as husk.. What a time.) Anyhow, the captain told us about these pills he got us, it was supposed to counter the effects of the reaper artifacts, make it so we would not see anything anymore. so, we all took some, us quarians took it in a IV form. So we got everything settled and managed to hike our entire way towards the research lab, finally reaching it we head inside the large, dark and scary lab. Most of the power was out, must of been something up with the power generators. So, within half an hour of walking around inside, we come under fire from Cerberus troops. Not many but enough to give us a startle. No one injured here, so we continued, clearing each and every room. Finally reaching a long dark tunnel we walk down it. And of coarse more Cerberus come from no where and open fire, and of coarse who gets injured first? Me, that's who... I get shot several times, causing the shields to collapse, then finally a round penetrates my left leg. So, Doc managed to fix me up, a temporary patch... But instead of bringing me back, the Doc lifted me up and carried me, moving me with the group. After quite a while I felt like walking, which was a mistake. As soon as I touched the ground I began to see another vision, in space. The reapers once again attacking the fleet, I was watching Quarians get sucked into space, calling for help with no one to come and save them... I then got slapped, being pulled out of it. I really do hate these missions... Anyhow, next thing I know I am being carried by Alex all the damn way to our objective. That is when we say there for another damn hour or two, not knowing really what to do while the captain ventured off, running around and finding a way to open the door. While he was gone, several of us volunteered to guard the door we came in from, facing off with several waves of drones and Cerberus troops.. Luckily no one was hurt here, besides me... Again, a round to the shoulder. Not a big deal though, eventually I was okay but what came next was horrid. Hart came back, the blast door behind us opening, the group going in, and well, a lot of them got injured. Which well, it bugs me.. I wish I was able to help them, but couldn't. Luckily they lived though... Well, the artifact destroyed, which was not susposed to happen, and the injured extracted, all in all we finished the mission and made it back alive... Just another lucky day I guess.

Entry #2:
So turns out we went to the Citadel today, probably to get our critically wounded treated a bit better... Thought we were going to be stuck in the crummy ship for a few hours while they got worked on, but turns out that we also get a while of R&R. Which is great if you ask me, finally being able to sit around and chat with people, getting to learn more and more about them, and what I mean by "them" is the task force, all of them. Well, never been on this part of the Citadel before, but it sure is interesting. There is a night club there, your general C-Sec office, a med bay, several store, and my own apartment. My very own sterile apartment. Heh I managed to have my first drink today as well or well... I mean my first several. Alex invited me for a drink or two, so I accepted and went to the club with him, had a couple of drinks there. Turns out I'm quite the light weight, got drunk quite quickly that night... After the first drink Alex got invited to play the Piano over for Teth over at his party. The funny this is that it turned out to be a engagement party. Never new Teth and Liddle had a thing for each other, but I guess surprises will always pop up. Anyhow, that was quite a interesting time, people dancing, laughing, yelling... Batarians causing a scene, midget throwing... (Yes, I threw a midget at Arglack...) All in all it was a great time. After that we ended up leaving, I got doctors orders to stop drinking, seeing as I was on multiple types of pills... Oh well. After I sobered up a bit I found out something quite interesting... Thompson, someone who I developed feelings for, suddenly came out and let me know that he liked me, like, like like... So, after a while of discussing our feelings he managed to ask me out, or I did... One of the two. Yea, quite surprising if I'm being honest, did not think any of this would happen... Well anyhow, I better get some rest now, got to get up tomorrow and find myself a new Enviro - suit...

Entry #3:
Well, today was quite the fun ride. Not really... It started out nice, fun, and relaxing. Well, besides the fact I had a massive head ache and my wounds felt like they just doubled. So, first thing I do when I wake up is take off to another section of the citadel. Went and seen the old boss at the store I used to work at, she was quite happy I sent a couple of customers down to buy some things from the place. She was quite worried, seeing my wounds. I told her not to worry so much, but hes a hard one to talk out of things... Anyhow so to make a long story short, we felt like going out for a bit. She closed down her shop and went out shopping. I found my new Enviro - suit and she found me a cool new cloak to add to my suit. She bought me it as well. I like her, even though she can be quite demanding and bossy at times. She loves to act like a mother at times. So, we said our byes and I left, back to were my apartment was. Got back, relaxed for a little while then... Martin and Naomi pop'd over, and spoke their thoughts about Alex. I asked to be alone for a while so I could think it over. They agreed and left. Next thing you know, Pip shows up, I get him to leave after a while, then suddenly Naomi, martin, and Alex end up showing up again... They stay outside for a while, I wish I could of heard them... Either way, next thing you know C-Sec shows up and causes a huge scene. I managed to make one of them understand and leave, but the other one just would not stop... He even hacked through my doors and trespassed into my room... So, I hid in the bathroom... which did nothing when he stepped into the door frame. Surprised I did not get arrested there for cursing at him, then pushing him from the door way... Also for throwing a roll of toilet paper at his face, heh... Eventually he left after I asked him to leave forty different times. After all that, Alex wanted to speak, thought maybe we were breaking up or something... But, this was not the case. I talked to him, he was quite calm, besides him breaking a finger and cutting up his hand from being so mad at the situation... So, now I'll give him a chance, I'll keep a eye out and make sure he wont do anything dumb. I love him, its just Naomi and Martin made me doubt his loyalty... I'm not sure if that is bad or not... But, he promised me, so I think everything will be fine. After the whole ordeal I just went and fell asleep, that day put enough stress on me to last a century.

Entry #4:
So, today was not very interesting... Well, it was when we played truth or dare and had a few drinks. Some had more then others of coarse. I made Doc. Martin do a dance for us, because he used to be a "dancer" at a all women club. Surprisingly he has tons of tattoos and is also quite a good dancer. I think I'd like to dance with him some time. So, I also see Shultz acting very gay while dressed up in a Hitler costume, who ever Hitler is. He also kissed Arglack, which made Arglack get up and leave. Oh well... Later on we finally packed up and left for the ship... Made it there safe and sound, though it was boring most of the day... It ended quite fun, with a game of Cards against humanity, great times playing that game. Even if I lost two games in a row. I'll make it up the next game. Well, before the game all happened, I spoke to a couple of people about my relationship for a second opinon. Several of them said to break it off... Others said take it slow. So, I though about it and decided it was best to break off our relationship and get to know each other a bit better before we go into such a relationship, I felt like he was just rushing things.. Plus the way he acted at times, and including the stuff before, with Luma and all that... So yea, I broke it off with Alex. Maybe I'll give him a chance in the future, or maybe not.

Entry #5:
Soo, not much has happened these past few days, I have not written in, I think two days? Yea, something like that. Anyways,I got some information on our next op, seems it will be another clean up duty. Go in and see why this is doing that. Cerberus is expected to be there, and a unknown third party. We figure the shudder and flickering of the lights the other day was caused by the unknown party. Apparently they sent us a distress signal. Heh, who knows... but I can already tell that this mission is going to suck. That and that they are going to be needing the engineers, quite a bit. Or, maybe not... Who knows. Other then the information everything really been the same. We played cards a few times, Cards Against Humanity, ended up winning one and losing the other. Martin is still helping me learn some basic medical procedures and well, at this moment I think I can classify myself as a medic, just for the basics. Martins a fairly cool person, I like him, like... Like him quite a bit. Probably why I invited him for a drink. The bar was full so we ended up just going to the common area for a little chat, which lasted for about a hour. Afterwards we played cards against humanity with Alicia and Luke, me and Martin. Turns out Alicia finally won once. That was quite a fun game... Though embarrassing. I became the Card Czar, the person who has to choose the funniest card... And well my card, or the black card, was "How did I lose my virginity." Yea, two cards were quite weird, something about sports and some other random thing... So, the third I disliked... But, I closed my eyes and choose a random card, turns out it was Martins card... And it said, "Fingering." So, apparently I lost my virginity by fingers... Ehh, stupid cards, making me embarrassed and all... I've never lost it, so I don't know why I'm so embarrassed at that. Hell, not sure why being embarrassed at cards is a thing, they are just cards... Anyhow, I got to head out now, next mission in on its way and I have to make sure I have everything ready. Bye!

Entry #6:
Heh, well would you look at that, same thing as always on these stupid missions... It was a failure. I seriously think we need some damn training before we continue to go on these ops. Proper leader ship training, combat training, medical, not so much, but yea... We need a lot of training... We need to learn to follow orders, stick together, and work as a team. Because as it is now, there wont be any more task force if we keep getting injured and somehow manage to get out of the missions with no one die- **The word would just cut off with a line at the end** We had... A death today, surprisingly it was only one... Well, what happened was we were on team Alpha, with Artacus as our team lead. We managed to have a rough time all the way through, almost like Cerberus was picking on us. First shot out of the air, then being swarmed by a massive amount of Cerberus troops. before we reached the swarm, Max, a female turian, got shot, her arm torn off... Luckily we had Martin on stand by to stabilize her. Which she seems to be making a full recovery. I'm happy for that. Anyhow, so we reached a three story building, cleared it just fine. We sat around and made sure we could hold that position when it happened. Me, Xeria, and someone else was covering on the second floor, watching out the window when suddenly Cerberus begins to attack, in a mass amount of forces. First I get hit, a shot to the gut, I go down and apply medigel to myself, luckily I took that medical training. Then suddenly Xeria gets hit, falling to the ground. I slowly made my way to her and helped her the best I could, even though I myself had two wounds already... Helped her with medigel until Martin showed up. Which he was able to do more... Or so I thought. Anyhow, so we stabalized her for the moment and continued on, finishing off the Cerberus forces. Pushing out to a old store where we again, got surrounded by a enitre army of Cerberus troops. Though luckily Alpha managed to meet up with us and help us out. Everyone got to the hospital, safe and sound, besides a few injured... And there, well there is were she passed.. Xeria, she died from her wounds in a hospital, a damn old hospital... How ironic... How sad, seriously... We lost a good engineer, a good friend today and I think we are all feeling it... Rest in peace Xeria, rest in peace. Anyways, after that I passed out and do not remember much... Just remember waking up in the medbay, screaming from the nightmares I still have.. That reaper artifact seriously messed me up... But, other then that I found out Zar helped save my life, along side Brian and Martin... Thank you all for being there for me, for being such good people... Anyways, I'm going to sleep now... I'm quite... Tired, yea... Bye.

Entry #7:
So, I have not made a update for quite a while, again... Sorry. Anyhow, its been a few days, so I'll sit here and give you all a update on whats been going on in the past few days. Though I warn you, it is not going to be good news... The bad only gets worse, or so it would seem. Last time I posted something, it was mainly about Xeria, but now.. Its going to be more of someone else. Let me start off with the next mission... What happened while we were there. This time we went off to the Drell home world, quite a nice place, though really warm. Luckily I was allowed to go despite my injuries. Though I had to stay back with the Kodiak. So, while doing so I talked with the custodian Itpo, he seems like a decent person. Anyways, I set the Kodiak up for medical purposes, seeing as I thought someone was going to get hurt once again. Turns out nothing seriously bad happened on this mission. They fought some tanks, blew them up, saved a bunch of citizens. Then managed to get the priests out of there... Now, the real fun part was not on the ground.. But in the sky. We got back to the ship and were happy about the way the mission turned out. Suddenly a dread naught, salvaged one, comes out of no where and suddenly launches drones at us. Next thing you know there are mechs on board the ship, gunfire going off every where, fires bursting out, and this ship shooting at us. It was chaotic... Then... A fire broke out in the cockpit... Where, where Hart was. Captain Hart... Good man to the very end... Anyways, they tried to get him out but could not, so they tried to activate the sprinkler systems... But they would not work either. So, I tried on my end, I tried to fix the sprinklers from the damn core room, stupid right? Heh, if only I thought of opening the schematics and seeing where the break was... If only I thought of something else... Hart would still be alive. I could of fixed the sprinklers, or even got him to go through the maintenance hatch that was in there... But I froze up, I could not think clearly and now.. well now he is dead... Because I could not find a way to save him... I'm sorry Hart. Along side that the ship almost blew up... The core was malfunctioning and the console broke... I could not vent the pressure build up from the console, making me have to crawl into the maintenance hatch directly below the over heating mass reactor... Do you have any idea how hot it is in those... It was melting my damn suit. Finally reaching the lever, no idea why they would make it a metal lever... Anyways, I grabbed onto it and pushed, and pushed with all my might until finally pushing that old rusty lever forward, venting the pressure from the core. While also sustaining a major burn to my hand... How fun. Heh, after all this crap we managed to meet in the hangar, winning the fight due to the efforts of everyone, and... Of Captain Hart. Lining up inside the large hangar bay, everyone began to receive promotions, though I care not for a rank or titles among these people... I got quite annoyed when he came to me finally. The words he spoke hurt me, put me down... Made me almost angry. I even spoke out of turn due to it, while typing on my OMNI tool. Because of it I got in trouble.. Though I yelled towards Dio, surprisingly he did not do anything... Seriously, I am lucky. Anyhow... What the commander said... He... Heh, this just... He said something similar to this, "You have not proven your actions to be reasonable for a promotion." Or something like that... Oh, no he said, "Your actions are not recognizable, so for this you will not receive a promotion." Heh, like seriously? Not recognizable... I just finished saving your ass from blowing up, and apparently I am to useless to even be recognized. Its just... Uhg, that just pisses me off... Anyways, enough about the stupid non promotion crap... I don't want to get annoyed again, need to maintain my "happy go lucky" face and attitude. Don't need people worrying about me. Already have them doing enough of that, seeing as they know of my nightmares and my injuries... Well, a day or so after this battle we managed to make our way to the citadel, just for a couple days of rest while we fix the ship. Everything actually went smoothly this time around. I had dinner with Martin and even watched a movie with him, had snacks and all. Was a great time. Did not even have to drink at all while there. I'm glad I went... Even though I was thinking on staying back. I wanted to be... Discharged from the task force. I felt as if I was not needed there, as if I was not useful enough to be apart of the crew. Heck, before the task force I was just a civilian with some engineering experience who got mixed up in a battle against the reapers on earth... Yea a discharge, why? Because I feel to depressed there... I feel to worried, angered... I feel like its my fault for letting Hart die, for letting Xeria die. Hart died because I froze up and could not give him good information. Xeria died because I could not patch her up very well... And now I am worried about everyone else, about them all possibly dying like these nightmares show... Probably the only reason why I did come back... To make sure everyone stays alive. Anyways... I'm going to cut it off here... I need some rest, I got this giant head ache and all... See ya'.

Entry #8:
Every day... Every single bloody day here is getting worse and worse. My depression continues to sweep lower and lower... Its slowly killing me, not really.. But it feels like it. We had to go on a mission which no one liked... Even though we all did it. I'll start it off with the rumor on the ship, the one that was not actually a rumor. Anyways, a few of us had heard about a rumor, one that on the next mission we had to kill Child Krogan... Damn children. Soon enough the people who heard about this rumor were called to the conference room and asked to keep quite about it. So, despite not wanting to we all did... Sadly. I kind of regret doing so, actually I do regret doing so... Anyways, we all lined up in the hangar afterwards, sixish hours later. That is when the rumor came true. The commander told us we had to do the thing we were all fearing. We had to fight against child soldiers, damn children... Now I think I hate the higher ups... The ones past the commander... Giving us these type of missions. Half of us are not trained for this, physically, nor mentally. Heh.. Anyways, we dropped down onto the ground, seen tons of dead bodies and so on and so forth. The basic crap we always see. But then... It happened, waves of krogan. Some children, others not... Out of instinct I pulled the trigger and... Well.. I killed so many... So damn many and I hate myself for it. I kept counting... I counted up to 14 but I know there was more then twenty one kills of the child krogan... Some people like Luma said they were at forty plus... Its just.. Scary to think about it now... Think about what we became because of this. There was so many deaths, so many injured... Hundreds of dead krogan on the ground, hundreds of dead turians up above... Many injured people on the task force... Including one death... Alex... I'm... Quite sorry about that... I know I'm not at fault for his death, but... I hate myself for letting out friendship die the way it did... And now I can't fix it... I can't even say hi to him anymore... I feel like I ended everything off badly. We stopped talking after we broke up, stop hanging out... Everything just stopped... And I am sorry for it. Heh, I wish command let me stay off this mission like I asked... Erin even told me to stay off of this mission... Because of my metal health... Now... Now I just can't see myself doing anything, or.. I don't  know...  I think these pills are just messing with me... Anti Depressants, Anti Psychotics and heavy sleeping pills. How fun... Well, I guess the only good thing that happened was that at the end of all of this... Martin came out and told me how he feels about me. Seeing as it was the same feelings I had... We turned into something more then friends, we started to date... Which cheered me up a bit... But... I don't know if it will be good for me to be in this state of mind, I don't know.. We will see.

Entry #9:
Well not much to say... Me and Martin continue to get closer. Brian and me are practically family, or so it feels like anyways... Oh and a demotion because I don't deserve it. Well, I might write more later... To tired these past few days, so much damn work and all.



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